A whole lot of sweat and tears..

I weighed myself this morning, 7 months after I decided it was time to take charge of my life and stop hating myself and my body. 7 months after I finally had enough embarrassment and shame. 7 months after I put away yet another pair of pants that were too tight, retired a belt that wouldn't buckle anymore, bought an EXTRA large shirt. 7 months after I spent $150 dollars at the grocery store and had not one nutritious thing in my cart. SEVEN MONTHS after I ate an entire bag of chips in one sitting and got winded taking the stairs.

I don't know what caused my motivation to get healthy at that particular time. I don't know what made it stick and made me fight for what I wanted. I don't know what was so different this time, but it needed to happen. Crying when I saw myself in the mirror, being disgusted with myself when I saw thin girls in skinny jeans, all of that accumulated into a drive to have the life I wanted.

The past 7 months has, by no means, been easy. It's been a struggle every step of the way. Anyone that tells you that losing weight and getting healthy gets easier is a liar. You just get stronger, mentally and physically. My eating habits were and still are stubborn. But little steps add up to an awful big change over time. Old habits die hard but new habits CAN and do form and stick. Sometimes I want pizza. Sometimes I have pizza. But a slice or two, not 3/4 of the whole thing. Change doesn't have to be drastic and it certainly doesn't stick if you try too much of it at one time.

Exercising is tough. But walking 15 minutes is a lot better than sitting on the couch for 15 minutes. Doing 10 pushups takes less time than it does to brush your teeth. Starting small was what got me through the beginning. The stronger I got, the harder I pushed myself. I ran mile after mile after mile. I wore out running shoes and blistered my hands lifting weights. I tried interval training, dance classes, cycling, and more. For me, it was all about finding what I enjoyed and doing those things to lose weight. The journey may have been hard, but I've truly enjoyed making this tranformation in my life.

I am like an addict with my running. I'd rather be running than doing almost anything. I get excited every day I get to go to the gym. I LOVE my new lifestyle and I enjoy how amazing I feel. I love that I can call myself a runner. A true, to the core runner.

I have to give a hell of a lot of thanks to a few people that supported me, pushed me, inspired me and loved me through the thick and the thin of all this. I know I was a bitch, whiny, cocky, rude, a million different things during this journey. My best friend Sarah became a runner the same time I did. She started running 30 second intervals right by my side. And no matter how discouraged I got, she was there to give me the kick in the ass I needed. She may have pissed me off with her stern words, but it was always exactly what I needed.  My husband Steve made me work out when I wanted to be lazy. He encouraged me, saying things like "just 30 minutes of cardio then we have the rest of the night to relax", or "if you push today, you get tomorrow off". I literally would not be where I'm at without his love.

Amanda and Trisha and Joe constantly encouraged me as well, always quick with a "way to go!" or "I'm proud of you". They will probably never understand how much of a difference that made and how much I needed them throughout it all.

And lastly, I never knew that this journey would make me a new and amazing friend. Kristina was Steve's friend originally, but her ridiculous laugh and outgoing personality instantly made me like her. We ran our first 10K together, and tackled Warrior Dash. We take classes at the gym, run, and lift weights together. She has made this whole thing one million times easier, knowing she is fighting through just like me. I'm so glad I've had her by my side and I'm lucky to have her as a friend.

Good lord this became a long blog but really, it needed to be written. I weighed 183.7 pounds at the start of all this. I'm not ashamed to say it now, because I've changed. I weighed in at 143.5 this morning. And the funny part is, the weight isn't even the thing I'm most proud of. What I'm most proud of is the mental strength I've found in myself, the tenacity I never knew I had. I guess all it boils down to something very simple: Either you do it, or you don't. Either you want it, or you don't. If you want to change, YOU have the power to do it. All it takes is a few good friends, a whole lotta desire, sweat, and a nice cold glass of vodka every now and then.

Fosho, fosho. Get to it folks.

Holy whoa.

So, I got my wisdom teeth cut out Wednesday morning. All 4. They first tried to put my IV for sedation into my right arm, and apparently my vein kept rolling, which caused me to drop multiple F-bombs and them to have to gas me before I'd let them get it into my left arm. Go figure.

My teeth are healing all fine and dandy, but my lip and chin are STILL numb (it may or may not regain feeling) and I found out today that I'm allergic to the antibiotic I've been on the entire time. Dude, okay seriously. These have been the worst 5 days I've ever had in my LIFE. I haven't been able to do anything, and I literally mean anything. If you know me, you know I am the fidget queen and rarely sit still for more than 5 minutes at a time. I didn't leave the couch for almost 5 days. Fuck this shit, real talk.

Yesterday (Day 5) I finally was able to drag myself off the couch and go tan and buy some new running gear, but then immediately was back on the couch. I stopped taking my antibiotic yesterday after researching it and its side effects and then my doctor confirmed this morning that I definitely shouldn't be on it and that I was having an allergic reaction to it. REALLY!? Like getting my fucking teeth ripped outta my head wasn't bad enough, then I get to be completely immobilized by drugs. WOOOOOOHOO!

Then that mug tried to take my stitches out this morning! Hell nah, nope.

Stupid. I'm back at work today, and I feel fn terrible still. If I'm not better by tomorrow, I get to go in to a specialist and have blood tests, etc. ran. I just love my life right now. Really and truly.

ANYWAYS, enough bitching for now.

Later dudes.

Shoes and Shenanigans

I ran for the first time in 2 1/2 months on Saturday. TWO AND A HALF MONTHS!! Holy shit. Going from running 15+ miles a week to nothing for that long is a big change, and I was sincerely worried how bad my performance was going to be. Nonetheless, I got dressed, charged up my Ipod with my newest running playlist, and took off. I left my running watch at home because, for my first run back, I didn't want to be concerned with pace, distance, anything, I just wanted to RUN.

Turns out, my body remembered how much it loves to run. I kid you not when I say I caught myself smiling and singing to my music as I was running. I truly think I've lost my mind. But really, if you love running, you get it. It's my thing, my escape, my happiness. I'm so happy to be back.

I ran 2.6 miles (mapped it when I got home) and it was EASY! I'm relieved my stamina has held up during this time off. It will make the training for the half much easier in January.

I've been researching and researching to find the best winter running gear, since I will be training primarily outdoors. I was also looking for a second pair of lighter running shoes. I may have found them:

Amazing looking? Uh, yes! Wonderful reviews online as well, plus New Balance is a stellar company.

I'm going to start a fundraiser as part of my half marathon training. I am going to try and raise $2500 for the Champaign County Humane Society. This amount is how much it costs them to run their facilities for just ONE day. By raising this amount, I can "Adopt-A-Day". To do this, I'm going to offer two possible ways to donate: either an amount, or people can pledge an amount per mile that I run (say, 10 cents per mile). I will be training for 16 weeks, logging about 20 miles a week to start then gradually up to about 35 per week. So, say if I end up logging 400 miles in all, that would be $40.

Anyways, feedback would be nice on this, like if you would be willing to donate if I did this.

Getting my wisdom teeth cut out tomorrow, I'll be signed out for a while.

Lata dudes :)

I'm always looking for ways to get good, quality protein into my vegetarian diet because, let's be honest here, eating cups upon cups of beans and eggs gets tad boring. Blargh. I'm a BIG supporter of protein shakes - high protein, you can mix them with almost anything, and they are super simple and filling. Many use these shakes before and after workouts, but I tend to use them as meal replacements. That being said, make sure the protein you buy is FOR meal replacement, and not aimed towards enhancing your workouts. There is a difference, seriously. GNC has tons of info if you just go in and ask :)

This morning I decided to try a quick and new shake:

Ingredients:
1 scoop chocolate protein (Make sure it's vegetarian! many use calf rennet)
8 oz 1% milk
1 tbsp. peanut butter
1/2 tbsp. Nutella
Cinnamon to taste

To make:
Blend all ingredients with about a cup of ice (add gradually until its a consistency you like) and add cinnamon to taste.

Pretty tasty. 340 calories, 23 carbs, 13 grams of fat, and 33 grams of protein. Obviously you could adjust this if it's too high in calories for your diet, but I eat 5-6 meals a day of between 300 and 400 calories. My metabolism is insanely high due to the high intensity interval training I've been doing so I eat more than most women.

I'm still full 3.5 hours later, and it's way convenient to drink your breakfast while doing other things around the house (like playing sniper with a squirt gun vs. the dogs).

Bodybuilding.com has AWESOME beginner day to day workout plans tailored to your needs, just stumbled upon that yesterday. Check it out if you have a chance are are unsure where to start.

Also, http://www.canyoustayfordinner.com/ is an awesome, inspiring blog about a woman's 135 pounds weight loss and her love for all things food. Another great read.

That's about all. Heat is out at my job - pretty awesome when it's 37 degrees out. I feel like people who live in cold places have a disadvantage. We get pasty, ugly white, hole up in our homes, bust our shit on ice (seriously, like daily), and get in waaay more car accidents. Who's down for moving to Texas? If everything is bigger there, maybe my bank account will grow too ;).

I'll leave you with something amusing:

Holler.

Insanity IS Insanity..

Just a quick picture update. 2 months of Insanity = 8.5 total inches lost off my body, 12 pounds gone, and a serious sense of accomplishment. If you want it, DO IT. No excuses. Ya ain't gettin' any skinnier or any younger ;). 

GET SOME.

Rebellion

I apparently woke up with the rebellion bug acting in full force today. Wowza. I'm pretty sure that every word out of my mouth has had severe sarcastic undertones, presented with a shitass smirk. So, yeah. My Ipod didn't help the madness on my way to school, playing Bone Thugs then Spice Girls then Nirvana.

Remember these?

Uhm, someone find me one, and buy it. I don't even have a house phone. Don't give a hoot.

Anyway, I just wanted to post the recipe for the badassery of a meal I made last night. Potato partay!

Ingredients:

1.5 lbs. (about 20) mini red potatoes

1/4 cup shredded cheddar cheese

1/4 cup milk

6 tbsp. light sour cream

2 tbsp. margarine

2 cloves garlic, minced

1/2 tsp. salt

1/4 tsp. black pepper

1/4 tsp. cayenne pepper

To Make:

• Poke holes in the potatoes and microwave 5-6 minutes.
• Let cool, and cut in half lengthwise.
• Scoop out potato guts and put into bowl. (Keep skins)
• Beat for 30 seconds, then add margarine, sour cream and garlic. Beat 1 minute.
• Gradually add milk, beating until smooth.
• Add remaining ingredients, and mix well.
• Fill potato shells with mixture, and microwave 1-2 minutes.

SO friggin good yo! Easy peasey and delicious...ey? Deliciousey it was. The husband obviously loved it too. Who wouldn't?

S'all I got.

Lata.

The Lunacy Begins..

So, this is my first attempt at having a blog. Or writing anything down, besides alternating between catty bitchface rants and inspiring, motivating quotes on my Facebook statuses. I find all the jumbled mess of thoughts and ideas in my head interesting, even though most other people probably find me crazy (hence, The Lunatic).

BUT anyway, I've lost 37 pounds in the past 6 months. I've recently decided to transition to a vegetarian lifestyle - an ovo-lacto vegetarian lifestyle, mind you. (That means I still eat eggs and dairy. Don't mess with a lady and her cheese!) At any rate, I've had a hard time finding much information in the way of personal accounts of switching to a vegetarian diet, and I figured I might as well write mine down. If it helps others, okay, if not whatever. I'll be sharing all kinds of recipes I make, whether they are actually edible (My non-veg husband will be eating them too, so I'll also post his opinions, which should make this interesting), and other fun tidbits of information and advice I stumble upon.

At the same time, I'm beginning training to run my first half marathon in May. Scary shit, right?! 13.1 miles...I don't even drive that far to AND from work every day. Once again, lunatic. I also figured this would be the perfect spot to trail my training, once again for myself to learn and improve as a runner but also to help anyone else who wants to tackle this feat. It'll be much easier to keep track of what foods work for me for energy, what running gear and products are effective, the pros and cons of running alone, etc. if I'm writing it all down in a blog.

So, that's what this is all about. Nothing super serious, more about watching my downfall (HA! kidding). Hopefully I can figure out this new, crazy, healthy lifestyle I'm trying to live. For my sanity...and probably my husband's. Plus, I think getting some of the sanity out of my head will help my stress level. I have a severe problem with social interaction - can you say awkward? - so that kind of hinders my ability to have real, alive people friends that I can tell stuff to. It gets lonely up in this brain dudes. Enjoy and shit.

Deuce deuce.